TrashFlower

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living.” – Ralph Waldom Emerson

When I found this quote recently, I found the truth in it. I’ve spent many a day planning for when my life would begin. At work, I’m going to write that press release after I just answer a few more emails. I’m going to get in shape as soon as I get caught up at work. I’ll learn to rock climb or swing dance or finally figure out a trip to France when something else happens.

Recently, I’ve felt more like my life had finally begun. I’ve started feeling again, and feeling things more deeply. I’m happier. I’m sadder. When things hurt, they hurt more. But that’s all just a good part of being alive.

“Better keep yourself clean and bright. You are the window through which you must see the world.”

-George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) playwright, political activist

I recently got this forward from my mom, and thought it was worth sharing and saving:

A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked   ”How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t mattter.  It depends how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the  heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.  “As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”

“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.  Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.”

So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now. Don’t pick it up again until after you’ve rested a while.

I haven’t felt much like myself lately. I’ve felt disconnected, lost, and overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like maybe I feel more than other people – not in a bipolar way, but more in the sense that when I need a release, I really need the release. When I get hurt, I really get hurt. And I don’t get over things as easily as other people do.

Its funny – I can watch hours of soap operas where everyone has slept with everyone’s best friend, their significant other’s brother, and their parent – and they all get over it and get along. They forgive and move on. (They never forget, because you never know when they’ll need to pull that out in some knock-down, drag-out fight.) My local best-friend slept with my long-time on-again off-again boyfriend several years ago. And even now, if I think about it, the wounds will open right up.

Of course, the flip side of this is that when I’m happy, I’m happy. Like undenaibly, float on clouds, dance like a durvish happy. I think I’ll have more of those days in about 21 days … but for now, I’ve been trying to figure out why I can’t focus on the impending happiness. Instead I burst into tears on drive home or when certain songs come on the radio.

As it turns out, at least according to an article from Oprah, it’s because of the major life changes going on. I started a new job 11 months ago that has been in a constant state of change. I moved, and even though I’ve been here 10 months, it doesn’t really feel like home quite yet. I started a relationship with a wonderful, wonderful man who makes me happy (which, quite honestly, is a bit of a change too).  And because of all this change, the old me is dissolving… turning into people soup. And the author is right – it is scary. I’m one of those people who likes the feeling of being in control of the situation – and melting into a human puddle of goo (both emotionally and metaphysically) doesn’t fit into that need to control.

Phase 2 is Imagining – focusing on where your life is going after the change, and focusing on that. I’m ready for that phase to start. Starting…. now.

I started getting the Oprah newsletter a few weeks ago. I like it because it’s not the same content every day – it varies from fashion to self-help to fitness and beyond. But I have found one little thing that’s been driving me nuts. On their affordable fashion, they list 3 price levels: steal, good deal, and splurge.

So, of course, I look at the “steal” items. I’m not rich – and I’m certainly not about to drop a load of cash on trendy things that are going to be “so out” in 3-6 months. But the “steals” are almost always over $50, and often over $100. How is that a steal? Take me to Kohls, Payless, and Target please! Show me how to look amazing (especially in this economy) without a $500 outfit.

Puh-lease.

“You don’t have to like change to take advantage of it,” says Seth Godin.

Change is hard. Whether I want to lose 10 pounds, give up diet coke, or just make my day-to-day life more managable, it’s HARD. Its much easier to get up every Sunday morning, eat a freshly baked cinnamon roll, and read through your emails just like you have for weeks. Its easier to sit discontently at your desk and shuffle papers and to-do lists from pile to pile.

External change, like a change in work situation, serves as a great catalyst for internal change – if you’re willing to take advantage of it. Use it to clean house – to get rid of some of those piles, to eat the last cinnamon roll (and not buy anymore!), and to start in on a work out regimine.

As you can probably guess, I’ve been reading a lot of productivity and organization books lately, trying to get my life in order. There’s a big change heading my way in just a few weeks; a change that will make everything different, forever.

For someone with few friends, and a small family, and an increasingly large job, I seem to be an incredibly busy person. I think its mostly because of how many things I *want* to do – things that I’m constantly collecting information about, that are always getting transferred from to-do list to to-do list.

I end up suffering from information paralysis. I’ve got too many newsletters, too many books, and in the end, too many to-do lists.

This section of Emma by Jane Austen reminded me so much of myself:

“Emma has been meaning to read more ever since she was twelve years old. I have seen a great many lists of her drawing up at various times of books that she meant to read regularly through – and very good lists they were – very well chosen, and very neatly arranged – sometimes alphabetically, sometimes by some other rule. The list she drew up when only fourteen – I remember thinking it did her judgement so very much credit, that I preserved it some time; and I and I dare say she may have made out a very good list now. But I have done with expecting any course of steady reading from Emma. She will never submit to anything requiring industry and patience, and a subjection of the fancy to the understanding.”

I’ve spent even more time lately making lists, as recommended by the good man David Allen, author of Getting Things Done and Ready for Anything. Perhaps one of the most striking things I’ve read by him is regarding getting things off your mind and onto paper.

“Stress comes from unkept agreements with yourself. You can relieve that stress only by canceling the agreement, keeping the agreement, or renegotiating it. But you can’t renegotiate agreements with yourself that you forgot you made. Because psychic RAM has no sense of past or future, things filed there push on you to be done all the time. They must be made conscious and kept so, to alleviate the pressure.”

Now that I’ve seen the list, I’m going to start letting a few things go. I’ve got a horrible habit of being a horder, so even letting information go is difficult. Starting today I will reduce the number of email newsletters I get and never read, and set aside assigned time to do things that are important to me.

Alright, if you’re looking for your daily dose of cute, you’ve got to check out ZooBorns. It’s a collection of pictures of baby animals from a bunch of different zoos, aquariums, etc. The little guy above is a tawny frogmouth chick. If you’re like my friend MaK (which you probably aren’t – she’s one of a kind), you may want to “KILL it and STUFF it and put it on my DESK!”

Either way, it’s undeniably the cutest RSS feed in my reader.

Yes, these things are kinda cool to make yourself, but who really has the time?

FromHow about Orange

Alright, I’ll admit it. I’m overwhelmed on a daily basis. So, I’ve been going back to review “The 4-hour Work Week”, GTD and more. Today’s theme seems to be the “Zero Inbox” – a nirvana of which I’ve heard, but I haven’t seen in… well, nearly 10 months since I started at this job.

So, maybe tomorrow I’ll re-arrange my inbox filing system so that I can be closer and closer to that inbox Nirvana that so escapes me.

Here are some of the sites that I’ve read (and should read again)

• Inbox Zero: Action-Based Email
• Inbox Zero with Google Apps
• Why emptying your inbox is dangerous for your productivity and how to keep sanity without Inbox Zero

Any readers out there living in inbox zero bliss?